Ah, the New Year. Fresh page, waiting for the type of life to mark it up and make new memories.
But before we get into all that, it’s nice to take a look back over the year that is closing and honor it for what it has taught us.
My family started the year with a non-move. See, we had a plan to move. We even started that plan in motion. In fact, the plan was one step shy of being too far along to possibly stop it. Then, we stopped it. We stayed here. It turned out to be the hardest and yet the best decision we have made yet, my husband and I. I’m glad we did it.
Before that happened I would’ve told you I wanted to move more than I wanted anything. I was always looking at other cities, daydreaming about which one I’d live in. Vacations were not only fun, they were shopping for my new possible hometown. Now? Now I’ve realized something rather important. Something it has taken me 30-something years to realize. To quote a character in a book I’m writing (so therefore myself, in a weird way only authors understand), “If you can’t find happiness right where you are, you’ll never really find it at all.”
On the heels of that realization, 2015 brought me truth. I’m a teacher (not a bad one, either) and I’ve always kind of identified myself by that career choice. Something snapped in me this year and made me realize that teacher is a job not who I am. It was even harder when I realized it may not even be the job I want for the rest of my life. There is going to come a point when I have nothing left to give to this job and that scares me.
2015 also brought me the next step. Thank goodness too, because on the heels of learning I didn’t really need to move and I wasn’t going to teach forever I was feeling pretty down. If I’m not the teacher who dreams of moving…what the heck am I? The answer smacked me in the face one morning, waking me up from a dead sleep. Once the answer was there, I couldn’t believe I’d never allowed myself to think it before.
The rest of 2015 brought me proof of that. I took a class with an amazing author. From him I learned something invaluable, writers are real people. He is a normal guy, with challenges and talents. If he can, why can’t I?
I enrolled in an online masterclass on writing, which opened me up to a whole network of writers to support me. I finished a book. I finished a second book. People read my book and liked it. I finished another book. I started this blog (hello, world) and I opened a twitter account (yikes!).
As we close out 2015, I’m still teaching (I’m not out of stuff to give yet) but I’m also writing.
I’m finding balance.
I’m finding happiness…right where I am.